The military.

Interestingly my blog has evolved over time. I originally started it to help myself sort out and record the major decisions that are associated with becoming a medical doctor. Slowly it has turned into a very sporadic journal of my experiences and thoughts. I suppose that isn't a bad thing, but it does explain the decreased frequency of my posts. I keep a journal anyway so it seems redundant to post one online. Though it is probably almost as private because I really doubt very many people stumble across this blog anyway.
So from now on: I'm only going to post when I am faced with a major decision or milestone on my way to becoming a doctor.

To follow my own advice: for about the last 8 months I have pondered the possibility of joining the military to help with medical school. As of right now I have decided against it:
1. I'm not worried about trying to pay off medical school before I become a practicing physician anyway.
2. I do not want to be locked into a commitment, particularly with the ever-present possibility of being forced to practice as a General Medical Officer while awaiting a slot to open in a military residency.
3. Though the likelihood of being deployed is low if I were to go through the National Guard (the course that I think is by far the best option of the armed forces), the possibility of being delayed by such a deployment is not worth the risk.
That being said, there are some real merits to taking the military route. Many people do and don't regret it one bit. I just don't think it is for me. In any case it wouldn't be beneficial for me to enlist until I am accepted to a medical school anyway.

Health care reform!

I've decided not to worry about what is going to happen with all of this health care reform. I tried to look into it and untangle how it would actually affect me as an MD but I was unable to do so. Cudos to everyone who is making their voice heard and helping to make the reform better for all of us, but I have chosen to just let things go forward and deal with whatever comes. I know what path I want to walk and I am going to continue down that path.
My experience in the Orthopedic Center as a volunteer has convinced me even more that I want to be a Family Practice doctor. The concept of picking just one specialty and focusing on it does not appeal to me as much as it used to. I am the kind of person that likes to know a little about a lot of different things, not necessarily everything about just one or two areas of specialty. My friends know me for my incessant spouting of random facts on various weird topics. The appeal of being a doctor that deals with all areas of medicine continues to excite me.

Empathy

I just wanted to mention something I observed today about some of the staff in the ER. I overheard several staff members talking about a couple of patients that had died recently. Frankly, I was a little disturbed at how callous some of them seemed to be. I suppose that might be a defense mechanism or something. If you let every death give you trouble then you would be miserable working in the ER. Whatever the cause or reason, I never want to be like that. I don't want to become desensitized to someone else's pain. I hope I never do.

A fulfilling day

I had a great time in the ER today. I really feel like I'm getting to know how everything works and today I feel like I really made a difference. It was very busy with all kinds of patients. I felt like I was able to make their visit a little less traumatic. I really enjoy getting to know people and helping them one on one. I definitely don't want to work anywhere were I can't get to know the people I work with. I also am finding that even things like Orthopedics are too repetitive to keep my interest. It seems I am just built to become a Family Practice Doc. We'll see.

Bump on a log

So I didn't learn or get anything done this week. I was sick last weekend so I didn't go to the ER on monday. Then on thursday nobody was there to train me in the orthopedic center so I basically did nothing for an hour and a half before leaving. Sad! I really want to help people but at this rate I'm not making much of a difference. I am looking forward to school again so I can kick my but in gear and stop moping around.

Missed the ER this week

I was sick over the weekend so I couldn't go into the ER today to help out. I did want to share something I watched last time I went and what I learned from it. I was walking back from the waiting room on my way to check on some patients when I suddenly heard a most terrible wail followed by intense sobbing. I looked over to see a woman (maybe in her twenties) sitting down and a hospital employee sitting across from her. The woman was trying hard to control herself but couldn't help but choke out intense tears. I didn't immediately know what was going on, and there wasn't much I could do to help. I soon found out that she had been awaiting her fathers transfer to the ER when she recieved news that he had unexpectadly passed away while in transit. I always kinda wondered what it would be like to have to tell someone terrible news. I thought that I might shy away from such a thing. But as I watched this poor woman struggle I couldn't help but want to reach out to her. Telling someone bad news might be hard, but doing it right could make a world of difference to someone. I now know that I'm not afraid of doing something like that because I know that I could make a difference and help someone get through something very difficult. It reminds me of a friend back east who had a miscarriage and said that a patient doctor who was willing to just sit with them for a time while he could have been off doing other things made a HUGE difference to her and her husband. That is the kind of doctor I want to be.

So what's the E.R. REALLY like?

I just got home from my first shift in the emergency department at the University of Utah. What's my first impression? I like it! But I don't think I'd actually want to work there. Here are a few of my observations:
First of all, it is boring MOST of the time. Sure you have people coming in for minor things all day, but really exciting cases only happen maybe once a shift. I don't mind the lack of excitement, (after all I am someone who wouldn't mind just working in a doctors office) but there is an important thing missing from the ER. I noticed that the doctors go from person to person without spending time actually getting to know the patient. They pop in and give an oral or rectal exam or something like that and then POOF! they're on to the next patient. A family practice Doc may not get to deal with really exciting cases but at least they get to know their patients.
The thing I like about being a volunteer is that I get to talk to people without any fear of wasting time. Today I chatted with a gentleman for almost an hour about all kinds of stuff. I was just keeping him company while he waited for a CT scan. I love that! I've always loved getting to know and talking to interesting people. I like to hear about where they've been and what they've learned. So I love being a volunteer in the ER. But so far I definitely don't want to work there.
No, I don't get to watch emergency surgeries or anything either. As soon as airmed lands I'm supposed to stay out of the way until things calm down. I get to watch from a distance though. It's all good.
I hope I like the Orthopedic Center as much! I'll find out on wednesday.